When the Dream Doesn’t Fit Like You Thought It Would

We all have those “some day” dreams but have you ever had a dream come true? Maybe that dream was everything you imagined and more and maybe it wasn’t quite as fabulous as you had hoped. That’s what we are talking about today, my friends on The Solo Grind. 

Welcome to the solo grind, your chance to have a cup of coffee with me as we talk about all the things around building your business solo. We talk mindset, strategy, burnout, breakthroughs and dreams coming true even when they don’t turn out like we thought. Snuggle up with your pups and a cup of your favorite morning beverage and let’s chat… 

When I was a kid our family vacations were always centered around visiting family. My parents traveled around quite a bit for work before settling down in Texas, which put us days away from my aunt, uncles and cousins. So most summers we would take off for a week-long vacation to see everyone. 

These vacations were great, and my pops always made it a priority to plan one day that was all kid focused fun. We went to amusement parks, waterparks, and we spent days on the Jersey shore. One of my favorite memories is my dad and a chimpanzee teasing each other by making funny faces and hand gestures at the Terry Lou Zoo in Scotchplains, NJ. 

I loved these trips, and I treasure these memories still, but I still grew up dreaming about taking vacations that were 100% focused on fun. I wanted to travel to far away places, and spend my days on the beach in some exotic tropical location. Or wander the streets of an ancient city still thriving after 100s of years. I wanted adventure, culture, and experiences I couldn’t get at home. 

These dream vacations never happened when I was a kid, but that’s okay. 

I knew I would make them happen one day. It’s one of the reasons I joined the Navy in fact. But while you may get to see the world while serving in the military, you still have a job to do, and a lot of those jobs are stateside, as I learned. Although living in Hawaii was pretty awesome! 

Back to my dreams… I held onto the idea of a dream vacation for as long as I can remember, and the older I got the more clear my dream became. I am a beach girl at heart so I wanted my first “real” vacation to be somewhere with a beach. I dreamed of having easy access to sandy beaches, fruity drinks, and a swim up bar. I also wanted to see animals living in the wild that I couldn’t see at home. Like monkeys or sloths. But I didn’t just want to lay on the beach all day. I also wanted to see a city with culture and history. One with great local cuisine, art and museums. I wanted to learn about the history and the people who built the place I was visiting. 

Safe to say I had a really vivid idea of what my dream vacation would entail, and 8 years ago, my dream came true! 

Through Todd’s work, we were given the opportunity to travel to Liberia, Costa Rica. This vacation promised everything I had ever dreamed of. We were going to be staying at an all inclusive resort on the beach that looked incredibly luxurious. 

And close to the beaches was a wooded area where we could take leisurely walks in the cool shade of the trees. They even had those cute little monkeys playing in the tree tops, on the resort. Onsite at the resort there were multiple crystal clear pools where you could play games, or simply lounge in the sun or shade and relax. And they had a swim up bar! 

That wasn’t all though. Liberia has art and museums and looks to be a really lovely place to visit. And outside the city there are lots of adventures to experience! 

This being our first “real vacation” Todd and I wanted to do something that would be really fun and memorable. We looked through the travel agents recommended excursions a hundred times, before finally choosing an adventure that had just about everything we were looking for. 

The day began with ziplining or for the less adventurous, a walking bridge through the tree tops with the monkeys and sloths.  From there they took us to a mountain spring water slide, followed by a horseback ride in the mountains, and a visit to a coffee farm. We would wrap up the day with a Costa Rican styled lunch. It didn’t include a trip into the city, but that could always be another day's excursion. 

Everything about this trip was turning out to be literally straight out of my dreams. 

When we arrived in Costa Rica I immediately fell in love with the country and its people. I have traveled quite a bit since this trip and few places have ever made me feel as welcomed as Costa Rica. 

Everyone was really kind and welcoming, from the moment we stepped off the plane until we boarded to go home. The hotel staff was 5 stars, our guides on adventure day were intelligent and easy to talk to. Everyone I met had such a deep love and pride in their nation, it was hard not to fall in love with Costa Rica. 

The hotel was everything I had imagined and more. Everything was so lovely, lush and just beautiful. One of my favorite things was the fresh juice they offered us when we arrived, which was almost always available in the lobby. I don’t think I had ever tasted anything quite so good in my life. 

I honestly could go on and on about how amazing everything was, but I think you get the idea. 

As wonderful as everything was, there was a little whisper in the back of my mind saying… this isn’t quite what I imagined. 

Like realizing on day one that a swim up bar isn’t as fabulous as I thought it would be. There is a reason the water around a swim up bar is so very warm. If you have ever been to one you too may have realized that the people sitting there drinking all day, never leave the pool. At all! No one can drink that much liquid of any kind without needing a potty break. 

And those cute little monkeys I couldn’t wait to watch, I discovered they kind of creeped me out. And yes that is my personal opinion and if you love the little guys, please love them, just don’t sit next to me with those little creatures hanging around your neck. 

And the biggest awareness of all was… I am not really all that adventurous. Sadly I discovered that a little too late! 

Which brings us to the day of adventure… The day started out fine. I am not into ziplining but the walking bridge in the tree tops was really lovely, and we got to see a mama sloth with her baby so that was awesome. And those creepy little monkeys weren’t all that interested in me and kept their distance so I was grateful for that.  

Next on the list of adventures was the water slide and this is where our adventure took a really unexpected turn. 

Word or warning here… 

When your guide calls a mountain spring water slide “refreshing” then hands you a helmet and a leather diaper to wear, you might want to rethink your choices. 

I definitely started to question things at this moment, but I decided to power through and ignore that little voice in my head that was screaming… “turn around and run down this mountain trail as fast as you can!” 

Did I mention we were with about 30 of Todd’s colleagues and their wives. This was my first time getting to meet and spend time with many of them, so I felt like I had to make a really good impression, and running down a mountain side crying didn’t seem like the kind of impression I wanted to make. 

Instead, I put on the bravest face I could muster and I stepped into the leather diaper and pulled the helmet on and anxiously began waiting for my turn… and we are not talking about the fun kind of anxious waiting, where you are so excited for the adventure to begin you can taste it. Oh no… we are talking about the “What are you thinking? Are you crazy?” kind of anxious waiting. The kind that has you questioning every decision you ever made that led you to this moment in time.  

The second I stepped in and sat down, waiting for them to release the gate of water being held back, I knew I made one of the worst decisions in my life. Before I could jump out and say, “just kidding!” they opened the gate and a rush of freezing cold water hit me in the back propelling me down the mountain.  

I soon began to gain speed, and in my head I kept hearing the voice of our water slide guy saying, “If you don’t keep your arms and ankles crossed it could be bad.” So while with water splashing up in my face, I began to focus all of my energy on doing as he said to avoid the “bad.” 

Until my helmet strap loosened and my helmet popped up. Not to worry… it didn’t go far. The chin strap kept it attached to me, so that it could bounce from one side of the water slide to the other, using the head as a springboard. In all of the bouncing, I forgot about keeping my arms and ankles crossed and before I knew it, my left leg was up by my ears trying to help my helmet make this hellish experience even more memorable. 

Now you may be thinking, this is the worst of it, but oh no… it got even worse. I swear I almost went over the edge at least 3 times before being plunged into another “refreshing” pool of water, where you surface, gasping for breath and looking for the pearly gates, because you can’t believe you just survived.

This terrifying 425 meters of hell on earth, felt like a lifetime, but only took about a minute, and it took me at least 3 times longer to catch my breath and stand so I could retreat to the locker room and collapse, all while praying no one saw the actual terror on my face. 

On shaky legs I finally managed to climb out of the pool and made my way to the dressing room, and where I sat down on the nearest bench to give my heart a moment to stop trying to pound its way out of my chest. After what felt like another eternity, I finally thought I would be able to stand up again and get dressed. Except my legs were still really, really shaky. Especially my left leg which had grown a golf ball sized knot just above my ankle. 

My dream vacation had officially and almost quit literally gone off the rails… or should I say water slide, and our afternoon of horseback riding, coffee farm tour and lunch soon turned into a trip to the Clinical Hospital San Rafaél Arcángel. 

The funny thing about dreams is that sometimes they aren’t as fabulous as we thought they would be when we actually get to live them. 

As we drove down the mountainside toward the hospital I began thinking about this, and finally had to admit that while our trip was great, there were certain aspects of my dream that weren’t that good of a fit as I had believed. 

I also came to the realization that the idea that “I love adventure” was someone else’s dream entirely! I mean seriously, my idea of being “outdoorsy” is cocktails on the patio so what was I thinking! 

Later that afternoon while lounging by the pool with my foot propped up and iced, I decided to redefine my “dream vacation.” 

It did include tropical locations and beautiful beaches, but swim up bars were crossed off my list entirely, and my idea of adventure was redirected to trying the local beer. 

I would like to pause here a moment and give a whole lot of love to Costa Rica and all of the people we met on our trip. Plus they took such good care of me at the hospital, it never occurred to me to feel concerned about going to a hospital in a foreign country. And my doctor was pretty good looking which helped ease the blow of missing out on the rest of our day. 

This still tops the list of favorite vacations, not only because Costa Rica is so incredible, but because it is where I remembered, It’s okay and even necessary to redefine our dreams. 

We don’t always know something isn’t right for us until we try it out and see what we think. 

In business I used to dream of being a traveling speaker and trainer, until I realized that while I love traveling I prefer infrequent short trips and home is my favorite place to be. 

I also dreamed of becoming a Life Coach, and then realized that didn’t fit right either, nor did being a Nutritionalist. I loved being a Hypnotherapist, and specialized in regressions, but that specialty really should be conducted through in person sessions, not virtually in my opinion and location matters a lot in this profession. There just isn’t a lot of demand for hypnotherapists in small town South Dakota 

And I never dreamed of becoming a Brand Strategist or Web Designer, but yet here I am living the dream. 

Dreams take time to unfold and it is the unfolding and discovery that is part of what makes them worth it. 

There are a lot of books, courses, and coaching programs out there that promise to help you discover your dream life and business almost instantly. In fact, it was an email I received the other day, promising that I could have my dream business along with a clear pricing strategy, paying clients and the confidence to keep it going in as little as 30 days with their proven method that inspired today’s episode. And maybe they can deliver… but again, dreams take time and that time is so valuable when trying dreams on, to see how they fit. 

I came across an article a few weeks ago I came across an article that fits well with today’s episode because I believe the title says it best… “How to follow your dreams: 23 steps and why it’s worth it.” –– Medium.  23 steps! That’s a lot of steps to follow, but I agree it is worth it. 

Today rather than sharing the steps necessary to achieve your dreams, or “My proven method” which I don’t really have, I thought I would instead share 5 things you may not expect to find as your dreams unfold. 

1. People will scoff, laugh and probably not believe in you… 

Until you prove them wrong. When you reach a level of success that is undeniable, those who laughed or called you crazy are going to be the ones who think you’re courageous, lucky, successful and just simply amazing. 

2. You are going to spend a fair amount of time going in the wrong direction focused on things you don’t want or need… 

That is how we gain clarity on what we do want and need. Sometimes we need to try something on to fully know if it’s for us, or if there is something better out there. 

3. The help others have promised often won’t be there, or won’t be what you thought it was… 

It doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t believe in you or that they don’t want to help. It is just another level of clarity telling you, “this isn’t what I need,” which leads us to a reconnection with our intuition and inner knowing.  

4. Those who matter the most likely won’t “get it”... 

They don’t have to “get it” or understand what you are creating to support you and stand by you. They may even be one of the people calling you “crazy” but if they are still standing by your side well that means something. So don’t compromise your dreams. Appreciate them standing there with you.

5. It can be a really lonely road pursuing your dreams… 

As Erma Bombeck once said, 

"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely." 

In my experience, when you are chasing a dream that is just “that good” you won’t mind the loneliness nearly as much as you fear, because you know what is waiting on the other side. 

So there you have it my friends. Dreams are messy, unpredictable, and sometimes they involve a helmet, leather diaper and terrifying water slide that sends you to a hospital in Costa Rica. But that's what makes them worth chasing—you don't know what you really want until you try it on and see how it fits.

Thanks for tuning into the Solo Grind. If this episode reminded you that it's okay to redefine your dreams as you go, please rate, review, and subscribe. It helps other solo business owners find these conversations and maybe gives them permission to pivot when their dreams don't quite fit like they thought they would.

If you want to connect with me or need help figuring out what your business dream actually looks like (not what someone else says it should be), you can find me at caffeinecreative.io.

Until next time, may your coffee be tasty and your dreams unfold… but maybe skip the mountain water slides.