Episode Summary:
This week on The Solo Grind, I’m digging into a tough question: What would you do if it felt like every door was closed and success was nowhere in sight? This conversation was inspired by a real-life moment where someone asked for my opinion—and what they really wanted was permission to compromise their growth and take the easy way out.
Instead, I was honest. I shared exactly what I would do when it feels like the odds are stacked and the setbacks keep piling up.
In this episode, I’m talking about the power of honest conversations, why fake positivity doesn’t help anyone, and how to find your way forward—no matter how many “no’s” you hear. Because my friends whining won’t move you forward. But resilience will.
Pour yourself a cup, hit play, and let’s have a real conversation.
What I hope you take away from today's episode...
- Mindset shifts that keep you going when things get tough
- The 60-second gratitude exercise I swear by
- Why rejection might just be redirection
- And how to hold your head high, even when life sucks
Links to connect with me...
Book a Consult HERE! (https://caffeinecreative.io/consult/)
Email me HERE! theperfectblendcaffeinecreative.io
Find me on Substack!
Detailed Show Notes
(automatically transcribed using AI Technology)
A little bit about me
Hello and welcome to the solo grind. I am so excited to have you all here for today's episode I am Teresa Schlup the original Caffeine Creative and in my day job when I'm not recording podcasts I am a web designer and strategist I love working with solo entrepreneurs helping them find the most genuine way to show up in the world and to put that into a web design.
If that is something that you are interested in or you'd like to have a conversation about that, please feel free to reach out to me. I have all of my best contact information in the show notes or simply go to caffeinecreative.io and book a consult. I would love to have a conversation with you.
Now, this month, for those of you following along in real time, has been all about conversations. And I have been blessed with having some really good conversations here recently, which has inspired a whole month's worth of topics—which is really kind of cool in my opinion.
A Really Good Conversation Is…
But before we dive into the conversation that inspired today’s podcast, I want to talk about conversations in general. And I know I’m using the word conversation a lot and I can hear my college English professor telling me that I am being redundant. But I promise, my friends, I have a point to all of this. And I think it is a conversation worth having.
One of the things that I love most in the world is honestly a really good conversation. I love the ones that I have where I walk away feeling really good, inspired, and encouraged. Like every other Thursday, I’ve got a mastermind group where I meet with a couple of other ladies—a copywriter, Emily Aborn (you guys have heard her on the show), Robyn White (who’s also been on the show), and our good friend Masha Kohen. I walk away from that conversation feeling encouraged, energized, and ready to go.
I also love the conversations that are a little more challenging.
And I’m not talking about a conversation that is arguing with ignorance. I’m not talking about being browbeat with someone’s opinion. I’m talking about a good, open conversation where both parties are able to speak and be heard—even if they don’t agree. I love these conversations, even though they can be a little more difficult. I love them because they help remind me of things from my past and sometimes help me see them from a whole different perspective. They help me see the world from a different angle—a viewpoint I never would have considered. And they can even challenge my beliefs.
I don’t mind having my beliefs challenged. To me, when my beliefs are challenged, I have an opportunity to either solidify my beliefs with this new information or shift them because of what I’ve learned. And I love that. It’s part of growth in my opinion.
So I welcome these really deep, great, meaty conversations—even when they touch on the world’s ideas of “things you shouldn’t talk about.” I love them.
Now, granted, I don’t want to have these conversations every minute of the day. I don’t always want to be challenged. Sometimes a girl just wants to talk about her puppies or the bourbon she’s going to be drinking on a Friday evening. But I do welcome these conversations.
A pattern of well-intentioned fake positivity
And I think that, from my personal viewpoint of the world looking in, we’ve made it a habit of shying away from these conversations a little too much. There seems to be a pattern of well-intentioned fake positivity when it comes to having real conversations. We focus more on how we’re “supposed” to show up—and I’m using air quotes for those of you just listening to the podcast.
We feel like we have to show up and be loving and kind and encouraging and supportive—even when we don’t feel that way inside. We feel like that is the face we have to put forward.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with being loving and kind and supportive. That absolutely has its place. And sometimes our opinion is not necessary or even asked for—and I get that. Sometimes we just need to be the listener, and that is okay too.
But instead of instantly gravitating to the most recent positivity affirmation we saw on social media, what if we just paused for a moment?
What if we leaned into the discomfort and had the difficult conversation?
We could lean into that discomfort and allow the other person to feel it—let them share what they have to say without trying to fix it. Or, if we’re asked to participate, we could share what we’re really thinking and really feeling—even if it’s not what they want to hear.
For me, I love those kinds of conversations because they help me put life into perspective. And again, when someone challenges the way I see the world, it makes me a better version of myself.
So what if we allowed discomfort? What if we listened to the crap of someone’s life and let them have that moment without trying to fix it? What if, when our opinion is asked, we shared what we really feel—not what we think we’re supposed to say based on whatever societal rules we’ve absorbed?
That brings us to the conversation that inspired today’s topic. Recently I was asked:
What would you do if it appeared all doors were closed to you and success felt impossible?
That’s a really great question—and I’ll answer it in just a few minutes. But first, a little backstory.
I was having a conversation with someone a few weeks ago, and this person is really struggling in life. To be completely honest and direct, they are in the shits of life and having a hard time seeing their way out. They’re there because they made some bad choices. And we’ve all been there. But sometimes we can’t outrun the consequences of those choices, and those consequences can be really big.
Because of that, there are a lot of doors closed to this person. Doors that are closed as a direct result of the things they did—and we don’t need to harp on that.
But because those doors are closed, this person is considering doing something that, in my personal opinion, will undermine everything they’ve done to get their life back on track. I think it’s a really bad idea.
They reached out to me and specifically asked my opinion. What should I do? What do you think?
Now, what they’re considering won’t land them in jail or anything like that, but it is a decision that undermines their mindset growth. It undermines the person they’re becoming. And when we’re in the worst part of our lives, struggling to climb out, the easy way out can feel really tempting—but it’s often not the best way. It can undo all the hard work we’ve done to try and become better.
We don’t need to get into the details of their story—that’s his story to tell, when and how he chooses. But it was a good conversation, and I was faced with a choice: do I be supportive and empathetic to the struggle, or do I be honest and real?
If you know me, even just a little bit, or have listened to a few episodes here, you probably already know what I chose. While I can be incredibly supportive and empathetic—and I do want to encourage people—it is not my goal in life to be the “nice girl.” I’m not the person who always does and says what’s expected of me.
I want to be real. I want people to know exactly who I am in any situation and not have to guess which version of me is showing up for the conversation.
I remember a time when I tried to be someone different for every person in my life—and honestly, that was exhausting. Some people don’t like every aspect of my personality. And that’s okay. I’ve learned to be comfortable with it. But I am always real. Because I can’t be everything everyone thinks I should be.
So when he asked for my opinion, I was honest. And honestly, I think what he wanted was permission. Not my opinion—permission. Because he didn’t like what I had to say.
Eventually, after lots of typing—because this was a chat conversation—he said:
“Every single day, every single rejection is another nail in my coffin. Tell me, what would you do?”
So… what would I do?
What do you do when it feels like every door is closed to you?
As a solo entrepreneur, you’re going to feel like a lot of doors are closed—especially when you’re just starting out. You haven’t yet established yourself as a brand, as a business, as a trusted resource. You’re new. You’re building. And sometimes it feels like every single door is closed.
But they’re not.
If I’m faced with a situation like that—when I feel like every door is closed—here’s what I do:
I try every door again. And then again. And again.
I get out there every single day, relentlessly looking for an opportunity. I show up with my best smile and gratitude in my heart—as hokey as that sounds. And I’m grateful for every person who takes the time to speak to me.
With every small opportunity, I say to myself: “Sweet! This is one step closer to making things happen.”
And every time the “poor me” feelings or the victim mindset creep in—and they do—I set a timer and let myself feel all the feels. I give myself 60 seconds to feel all the pity, all the frustration, all the overwhelm.
Then, when the timer dings, I take a deep breath. I smooth down my hair—because it’s probably standing up—and I grab a pen and paper.
Then I write down everything I’m grateful for for the next 60 seconds. Even if I have to fake it in the beginning. I write until I feel the gratitude in my heart.
Next I take a walk and let a new idea come to me.
I start making a plan for what comes next. Because what I’m pursuing might not be easy, but it is possible.
I stop whining about how hard and unfair life is. Because yes, life can suck for all of us at some point. It is unfair sometimes.
But whining never moves you forward.
I surround myself only with things that lift me up and help me believe I can recover from whatever crap I’m in.
I listen to every podcast, audiobook, and song that inspires me to be and have more—and then I listen to them again. And again. And again.
And I remember something a client told me recently...
“No” is an opportunity.
She said she always welcomes a “no” in a sales call, because “no” gives her a clear direction. It either opens the door to offer an alternative solution—or it helps both people realize it’s not a fit, and they can part ways respectfully.
I believe we’re not here for an easy ride. We’re here to grow, to learn, and to evolve our soul. And that doesn’t happen in the good moments.
It happens in the crappy ones.
The good moments? Those are gifts we receive when we do the hard work.
If what you’re dreaming of and pursuing is really worth it to you, you will find a door that isn’t fully closed. You just have to keep looking.
All right, that’s it for this week, my friends.
Next week, I have one more deep conversation planned for you—and I think it’s going to be a good one. But I’m saving that for next week.
Until then, I wish you a fabulous week ahead—and I cannot wait to connect with you again soon.
