Episode Summary:
In this special birthday episode of The Solo Grind, I am celebrating with my best friend Crystal Loveless Nerpel, who has just launched her book 'Loving Your Home'. We will be sharing more about love, self-care, and the importance of creating a nurturing environment both at home and in business.
There is so much goodness in this episode including the significance of letting go of struggles, embracing the journey of life, and the power of perspective in shaping one's experiences.
Plus, Crystal shares insights from her book, emphasizing the connection between one's home and mindset, and the importance of celebrating personal achievements.
What I hope you take away from today's episode...
- Celebrating Friendship and Milestones
- The Launch of 'Loving Your Home'
- Letting Go of Struggle and Embracing the Journey
- The Power of Perspective and Expectations
- Creating a Loving Home Environmentnce.
Cool stuff mentioned in this episode...
The Power of Pivoting with Special Guest Crystal Nerpel
Crystal's Website: https://crystalnerpel.com/
Purchase Crystal's book: Loving Your Home
And no... this is not an affiliate link. I just really want you to purchase Crystal's book!
Links to connect with me...
Book a Consult HERE! (https://caffeinecreative.io/consult/)
Email me HERE! theperfectblendcaffeinecreative.io
Find me on Substack!
Detailed Show Notes
(automatically transcribed using AI Technology)
Teresa Schlup (00:00.814):
Hello and welcome to this very special edition of The Solo Grind. We are actually recording this for my birthday. We’re going to be releasing this on my birthday, which is Valentine’s Day. Joining me here is my very good friend, best friend, Crystal. You guys have heard her on the podcast before. You’ve heard me talk about her probably a million times, and she’s joining me here today because she’s going to celebrate my birthday with me. So thank you, Crystal, for joining us.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (00:30.252):
Yay! I’m so excited to be here. Happy birthday!
Teresa Schlup (00:33.358):
Thank you! This is actually about a month before my birthday where we’re recording this because I want to get it done and out there, ready and scheduled, because I don’t know what I’m going to be doing on my birthday. Not working, I can tell you that. But I wanted to kick off my birthday celebrations with you because you’re my best friend. You’ve been there with me for more years than I can count. You actually gave me these champagne glasses for one of my birthdays. I don’t recall when, but that’s okay.
And because I also want to love on you and celebrate you because you just launched a book. Actually, at the time of this recording, your book is coming out tomorrow on Kindle and hard copy on Sunday, correct?
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (01:17.016):
Yes! So it’s a big day for both of us. Lots to celebrate—very excited.
Teresa Schlup (01:23.116):
I’m very excited! And so that’s really what this episode is about. So, as you guys have been tuning in through the month of February, we’re talking about loving your home, loving your business, loving yourself—all of those things. The focus has been on love because cheesy as it is, February is the month of love, and that’s what we do—we talk about that.
But I think it’s a good time to reframe. January is all about momentum and doing and being busy and trying to make things happen. We tend to forget ourselves in January, forget to take care of ourselves. We are so focused on trying to make new things happen in our business that we don’t necessarily love on our business the way we should. We don’t do things that are consistent and need to be done. We don’t love on ourselves, and we don’t love on our homes. So, that is what we’re doing this month—reframing all of that. And I’m just so excited you guys are here.
So cheers, Crystal! First, we’re going to toast. Here’s to you. For those of you joining us in audio, Crystal has her wine glass that I bought her at some point. We’ve drunk a lot of alcohol together. It’s filled with water, I think. Yes?
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (02:21.976):
Yes! Sparkly water.
Teresa Schlup (02:50.22):
And I have a champagne glass that Crystal bought for me years ago that has sparkling water in it today. Funny enough, one of my first episodes on video, when I had my little champagne glass out, that was actually clear tequila.
When you record something five times in a day and your recording equipment keeps glitching, and you’re facing a deadline that you have to meet, you end the day with tequila in a champagne glass—because why not? Amen.
All right, so cheers to us, to your book, to my birthday, to an amazing year—all the good stuff.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (03:01.794):
Yes, amen, sister. That’s good. Cheers to you.
Teresa Schlup (03:12.686):
All right. Since I have you here, and I’m so proud of you, and I’m so excited, I want you to tell us about the book. Tell us about Loving Your Home. I have a lot to share about how it has impacted me and how your influence has really impacted me. In fact, we both had these tearful messages the other day we sent each other about that. But I want you to tell my audience about your book because I really think that everyone should get a copy. I think they would benefit, especially solo entrepreneurs who are constantly self-sacrificing. This is such a powerful thing. So I’m going to shut up now, and I’m going to let you tell us more about your book.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (03:51.234):
Thank you! I would love to. Yes. And I did get emotional the other day too because I don’t let myself sit in the accomplishments. I think maybe—I don’t know—a lot of entrepreneurs do the same thing. You accomplish something big or small, but you don’t pause and go, “Yes, I did it.” So that’s why I got sappy with you the other day. I was proud of myself for doing it, but mostly...
Your influence—and I’m going to try not to get all teary-eyed and sappy—but your influence on my life and on my book.
So I wrote a book called Loving Your Home: Clean Up Your Focus, Not Your House. This is just a proof copy—I’m holding it up if you’re watching on YouTube. I don’t have the actual final copy yet because I’m going to buy it when it’s on sale in the next couple of days. So, Loving Your Home is really just a story about all the influences in my life and how I’ve learned to love my home.
You’ll notice—people who have read it have said—it kind of reads like a memoir. I add a lot of anecdotal examples and stories in there about how I’ve struggled with my home, but I’ve struggled with a lot more than just my home. I struggled with mindsets that were not helpful. My focus was in the wrong direction, and then I shifted my focus, and amazing things happened. Freaking amazing things.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (04:45.236):
I’ve accomplished so many things, and I really think it’s because I stopped, and I dropped the struggle—which I talk about in the book—and I focused on loving my home first. It was easier for me—and I think for a lot of people—to focus on what’s going on outside of you as opposed to inside, in your brain and your heart. That’s just a little bit more tangible.
As I was decluttering and organizing my home, shifts were happening inside my mindset and my heart. I was able to drop a lot of the struggle. I used my home as this big, life-sized vision board. Anytime I tweak a certain area of my home, I notice areas of my life elevating and becoming more vibrant.
There’s a huge connection between your home and your life. There’s a huge connection between your home and your mindset. When you stop and pause, if you feel overwhelmed—and I know a lot of your audience are entrepreneurs—if you’re overwhelmed in your business, stop. It’s okay to stop.
Teresa Schlup (06:11.201):
Yes, God.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (06:24.066):
Pause. Step back. As crazy as it sounds, look at your house, look at your office, look at where you’re sitting right now. Look at your desk. What’s going on around you? Are you feeling overwhelmed by all the clutter and chaos? You and I were just talking about that a second ago—about your desk and the situation you had going on. You switched something up, and it was like, “Ah, much better.”
Teresa Schlup (06:49.838):
Yeah.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (06:52.38):
Just pause and step back. When you adjust things in your environment, there’s energy attached to it. You release that energy, and your brain can breathe.
So, that was really long-winded. But basically, my book is a love story to myself. That’s what it is. Let’s just say that in a nutshell. I wrote this for me. I dedicated it to my parents because they’re in this book a lot.
Teresa Schlup (07:10.754):
Yeah!
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (07:18.56):
They had a huge influence on how I live my life now. They loved life. There’s the cartwheel story inside my book, and that’s a good example of loving life and just letting it all hang out. And Teresa—I call her Terry—Terry got to witness that. That’s one of my favorite stories in there, and I’ve talked about it several times. The cartwheel story is fun. I’d prefer that you share if you want to share what the cartwheel story is.
Teresa Schlup (07:45.34):
I will so share the cartwheel story. Leona and Willie have been a huge influence in my life as well. I don’t think that I would be the person I am today without them. My parents are amazing and incredible and have definitely been there, but Leona and Willie were a balance to my parents’ approach to life that I really think I needed. They are all about loving life and just being out there and living in the moment.
It kind of shocked the heck out of me. My life was a lot more structured. Every day, we had something set. Every Monday was spam and macaroni and cheese night or whatever—I don’t remember exactly, but I do remember eating that. And Saturday mornings after cartoons, we cleaned the house. Everything was very laid out and structured.
When I’d go to your house, nothing was structured. Everything was fun. You never knew what was going to happen, and the cartwheel story is a perfect example of that.
We were hanging out in your living room, watching a movie or TV or whatever—I don’t know what we were watching. Your dad comes out of the bedroom at the back of the trailer, starts running down the hallway, stops at the living room, does a cartwheel, and sits on the couch next to us. You and Candy were like, “Oh, that’s my dad.” And I was like—speechless. Which almost never happens for me. I always have words. But I was like, “What in the hell just happened here?”
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (09:02.612):
He does.
Teresa Schlup (09:09.506):
I was so confused. Then I see your mom—she’s in the kitchen, probably making us grilled cheese. For whatever reason, your mom’s grilled cheese was always my favorite. I don’t even know why. So, she’s probably doing something like that. She looks at what just happened in the living room. I thought she was going to yell or say, “Quit being dumb” or something like that. No. Instead, she shouts, “My turn!”
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (09:45.248):
Oh, so sweet.
Teresa Schlup (09:36.834):
She goes to the end of the hallway, runs down, does a cartwheel, and sits on your dad’s lap. Then they kiss or whatever. I’m just sitting there like...
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (09:45.248):
Okay, so you remember it better than I do. She sat on his lap, which makes sense. I just thought she plopped down next to him on the couch or something. But yes, they were very physical and affectionate, so that makes a lot of sense. I love that you were there to witness that and give me that story to put in my book so people can understand the serious energy that I was surrounded by most of the time.
Teresa Schlup (10:03.31):
It was all very... I mean, they ended up getting divorced—spoiler alert—they’re not married anymore. But yes, they were very passionate in all the ways. So anyway, I love that you were there.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (10:08.874):
Yeah, and Teresa is in this book again. Sorry about the banner across, if you’re looking at this on YouTube. But she’s in my book a lot.
Teresa Schlup (10:13.422):
Yeah.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (10:32.502):
When you see the name “Terry,” T-E-R-I, that would be Teresa Schlup and all her influence. You’ve taught me so much about how to celebrate life too and how to look at things from such a different perspective than I was ever taught. Even you—this wasn’t something you were exposed to as a child. Somehow you just intuitively knew there were different ways to look at the world.
I still remember the moment where I was like, “Okay, God, there’s more. I’m not looking at this right.” I remember searching like 30 years ago. I’m not going to get emotional. It’s just really powerful. So, thank you. Stop it.
Teresa Schlup (11:07.96):
Yeah. Cheers! No emotions, no.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (11:17.612):
Yeah. I told you the other day—nobody cries alone in my presence. That’s a strict rule that I have.
Teresa Schlup (11:24.054):
Yes, so the chapter I have on power... a lot of that’s influenced by you. So anyway, yeah, that’s all I have to say about that. I can’t talk.
Teresa Schlup (11:35.8):
Well, let’s talk about that perspective. Like you said, neither one of us was raised to have this perspective or to look at things in a different way.
My family, honestly—as much as they’re fun and amazing and incredible—they look for the insult, they look for the problem, they look for the struggle. I think that’s so ingrained in our society. I’m not pointing fingers at my family saying, “Y’all suck,” because they really don’t. It’s just ingrained in our society to look for the struggle, to fall into victim or “bitch” mentality, to find the ugliness in the world and latch onto it.
Just look at the news. I never watch the news. I haven’t watched the news since 1997, and that’s how long I’ve avoided it. It’s one perspective in the world that overshadows everything else that’s good and amazing.
I don’t even know where my switch happened, but I do recall thinking, “I’m doing all the things I’m supposed to do to have a good life.” I found a job I love, a husband I love, we had three kids, we bought a house, and I’m checking all the boxes. But my life freaking sucks, and I don’t like this.
I started trying to look at things from different angles. What if I look over here? Or over there? How can I reframe this perspective and shift things? Over the years, I’ve been able to get to a better place. But you fueled that as well. I think we balance each other out in so many ways.
Letting go of the struggle was a hard one for me. You talked about that when you were sharing about your book—letting go of the struggle. That was hard for me because life is “supposed to be a struggle.” You’re supposed to hustle and struggle to build your business. Building a business is hard. It’s not supposed to be easy or fun.
We latch onto the struggle piece instead of sitting back and embracing the journey. It’s not a struggle; it’s a journey, and it’s fun. Some days are hard—you re-record something five times and end the day with tequila. Other days, you record five episodes successfully.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (13:50.936):
Exactly.
Teresa Schlup (13:55.416):
But you were the one who really helped me figure out how to let go of that struggle piece. So, share a little bit about how that has been in your life because I think you’re the master of letting go of the struggle and really embracing the journey of life.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (14:10.348):
Thank you. That is the biggest compliment I think anybody could give me because the struggle’s real... but it’s not. It’s not. It’s a lie. The struggle is not real.
What is it Wayne Dyer always said? He’s credited with saying, “When you change the way you look at something, the things you look at change.” I think it goes way before him, though—it’s not his original quote. But it’s so true.
Teresa Schlup (14:36.248):
Change your thoughts, change your life—he even had a whole book called that.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (14:39.242):
Right, or something like, “When you change the way you look at something, the things you look at change.” It’s absolutely true.
I’ve tried explaining this to my organizing clients, my membership site for Loving Your Home Club, and even my children. You can tell people stuff. People can listen to this podcast and know that the journey is what’s important, but they still get sucked into the struggle—it’s just human nature.
I’d love to tell you exactly how I’ve done it, but honestly, I don’t know. Something just clicked. I turned 50, and something just clicked. I’m almost 52 now, and I’m finally like, “I really don’t care.” And I mean that in the best way—it’s liberating.
I’ve written this book, and it was for me. If it sells, great. If it doesn’t, great. If it resonates with someone, that would be such a blessing to me. But if it doesn’t, that’s okay too. Detaching from the end result has been huge.
And how do you do it? You remind yourself over and over again. I sprinkle anchors around my house to remind myself to stay grounded in what I know is true.
The end result is unimportant. It doesn’t matter if you finish the marathon or not—what did you learn along the way? That’s what really matters.
Teresa Schlup (16:01.006):
Yes, exactly.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (16:05.482):
The end result doesn’t matter. What matters is the journey.
There’s this weight that lifts when you finally realize that. I truly believe in infinite abundance and infinite love. I believe I can have whatever I want. And it’s not “woo-woo.” It’s true.
Your thoughts produce energy, and that energy has a vibrational frequency. When your thoughts are at a certain level, you attract things into your life that align with that frequency.
I even talk about our friend Darla in my book. I know I attracted her into my life because I needed her. I need Darla on a weekly basis to ask her questions.
And I know that’s why I attracted you into my life, Teresa. I attracted Rob into my life, too, because you and he both have qualities I aspire to embody. It doesn’t mean I’m already there; it just means I admire certain things about you that I want to bring into my own life.
Teresa Schlup (17:17.518):
Yes, absolutely.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (17:41.142):
I’ll stop rambling in a second, but I need to share this. I attracted Rob into my life, and we met when I was 17. Teresa, you were there—if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have met him because you were my ride to that party.
Teresa Schlup (17:52.386):
You’re welcome.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (17:52.536):
I used to have a terrible lack mindset. I grew up in a family where money was tight, and I always heard things like, “We can never catch a break.” That became my mantra, too—I thought I’d always be poor because that’s just how life is.
Rob never had that mindset. Ever. It wasn’t even what attracted me to him—we were both broke when we met. But he’s always believed, “Of course I can make a million dollars. Of course I can buy a second house.”
Teresa Schlup (18:28.076):
He never questions what he can accomplish.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (18:38.584):
Exactly. And if he does doubt himself, he doesn’t verbalize it.
That’s another key—don’t speak into your doubts. Don’t give power to your worries and concerns by speaking them out loud. Complaining and blaming bring more energy into those doubts. That’s one of my life rules now—no complaining or blaming.
I slip up occasionally, but I bring myself back quickly because I know that’s not what I want to create for myself.
Teresa Schlup (19:12.718):
Before we move on, I just want to point out something Darla always says to us. She’s so mindful about the words she uses. She’ll say, “I don’t want to speak those words over him,” when she’s talking about her husband or her kids. And I love that.
She’s not saying they’re perfect—they’re normal people who annoy her sometimes and love her other times. But she’s so intentional about not speaking negativity over them.
That statement has been so powerful for me. I’ve been working on adopting it into my own life because it shifts the way I approach things.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (19:43.328):
Yes, Darla is so intentional with her words.
Teresa Schlup (19:47.201):
It ties into something else I wanted to mention—letting go of expectations. Expectations often latch onto other people and tie them into our vision. We expect them to show up a certain way, do certain things, or behave in specific ways.
This was a big game changer in my marriage. Todd and I had these unspoken expectations for each other—like, “He should just know what I want.”
A few years ago, I told him, “Honey, it’s okay. I don’t have any expectations of you.” That hurt him at first because he misunderstood what I meant.
I explained, “It doesn’t mean I don’t believe in you. I 100% believe in you. But I don’t want to tell you how to live your life just to make me happy. I want to be happy simply being in your presence because I love who you are.”
Now, even when he does something that annoys me, I’ll say, “Oh my gosh, honey, I love you so much. That is so annoying, but I don’t want you to change.”
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (21:02.52):
Did that confuse him at first?
Teresa Schlup (21:04.462):
At first, yes. But not anymore. Now he just accepts it.
This mindset shift has carried into my business as well. I’ve let go of expectations about who my clients should be, what they should know, or how they should act.
Instead, I’ve embraced getting to know the real people who come to work with me. I’m not trying to mold them into something they’re not. I just want to see where they’re at and work with them from there.
This has allowed me to create something magical in my business. That shift in perspective is one of the biggest influences you’ve had on me, Crystal.
And speaking of loving your home, your life, and your business, I’ve been making changes inspired by you. Our house has become a tribute to the life we’re building.
Right now, we have so many projects going on. I’ll try to post pictures if we get them done before this episode airs. My office, for example, is becoming a tribute to my clients and the work I do.
Before we started recording, I mentioned how I was feeling anxious about my office. It just didn’t feel right. And weirdly enough, all I did was take down my second monitor.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (23:16.13):
Yes!
Teresa Schlup (23:17.025):
Since I did that, I’ve been so productive. It was a small shift, but it made a huge difference.
It’s funny because I thought, “I’m a web designer, so I’m supposed to have these big monitors and look a certain way.” But then I remembered that I built my business on a 13-inch laptop.
Letting go of that expectation—of what I’m supposed to look like as an established business owner—was liberating. Now, I’m back to one monitor, and it works perfectly for me.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (23:35.456):
Yes, because those expectations were adding layers of unnecessary energy. Technology itself carries so much energy, and having two monitors doubles that.
Good job quieting the noise and simplifying your space. That’s awesome.
Teresa Schlup (24:26.508):
And that’s a big part of what your book helps people do—quiet the noise and give themselves permission to live the life they dream of.
You’ve given me—and so many others—permission to embrace the life we want. That’s what I love most about your book.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (24:55.596):
Thank you. When I was a kid, I wanted to be an advertising executive. I saw it on TV, and I thought it looked amazing. The cool suits, the shoulder pads—I wanted all of it.
Then I got into that world and realized, “Ew, I hate this. This is not me at all.”
It’s okay to stumble through life and realize that certain paths aren’t for you. Each experience is a stepping stone to something else.
Teresa Schlup (25:37.932):
Yes, it’s all about the power of pivoting, which we talked about in the first episode you joined me for. I’ll include a link in the show notes for anyone who wants to listen to that episode. Cheers to us for how far we’ve come!
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (25:49.738):
Absolutely! Cheers!
Teresa Schlup (25:57.774):
All right, before we wrap up, is there anything else you want to share about your book?
It’s available on Amazon—you can grab a hard copy or a Kindle version. I highly recommend it and will include links in the show notes.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (26:21.676):
Just that there’s a lot of mindset work in the first part of the book. It’s about working on what’s going on inside before tackling what’s outside.
In part two, I focus on specific areas of the home and how to uplift your mood and declutter. It’s not just about cleaning—it’s about celebrating yourself and leveling up in life.
Teresa Schlup (27:19.054):
I’ll add to what you said about the connection between your home and your mindset. It’s so true.
When my kitchen is a mess and cluttered, I realize I’m neglecting my health. If my bedroom is messy, I’m probably not prioritizing self-care. When my office is in chaos, it reflects neglect in my business.
When I notice these things, I start with cleaning that area. I’ll set a timer for 20 minutes and see what I can accomplish. Just shifting that space immediately shifts the energy, and it’s so powerful.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (28:09.144):
I love that you set a timer. I do the same thing! I give myself 15 minutes and tell myself to stop when the timer goes off.
I also limit myself to just two household chores a day. Anything beyond that can wait. This isn’t about spending all day cleaning—it’s about doing just enough to feel good without getting sucked into tasks you don’t want to do.
Teresa Schlup (28:37.99):
Exactly! If I don’t set a timer, I can get completely lost in the task and waste hours. But with a timer, I feel accomplished. I’ve checked something off my list, and I can move on with my day.
If there’s more to do, I can come back to it tomorrow.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (28:52.534):
Yes! When the timer goes off, you’ve accomplished something. It doesn’t matter if all the dishes are washed—you’re done. Celebrate the 20 minutes you gave it and move on.
Perfection isn’t the goal here. You talk about striving for excellence or exceptional results, but perfection is unrealistic.
Teresa Schlup (29:16.814):
Exactly. I like things to be excellent or exceptional, but that doesn’t mean perfect.
Right now, my kitchen isn’t perfect. There are random items on the counter because I’m rearranging things. I want to keep them in sight while I figure out their place.
It’s not picture-perfect—there are probably crumbs on the counter—but my home still feels exceptionally well-designed and comfortable.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (29:42.594):
Exactly. It feels good, and that’s what matters.
Teresa Schlup (29:44.556):
Crystal, thank you so much for joining me on this episode and kicking off my birthday celebrations.
Crystal Loveless Nerpel (30:16.576):
You’re welcome! I got to wish you a happy birthday first, and that’s a win for me!
Teresa Schlup (30:20.17):
Yes, you did. Sometimes Todd beats you to it, but he’s my husband, so he gets a pass.
To everyone listening, thank you so much for tuning in to this special episode of The Solo Grind. Cheers to each of you!
Do something loving for yourself today—you absolutely deserve it. I’ll see you next week for another episode where we’ll continue focusing on loving ourselves, our businesses, and our homes.
