Episode Summary:
In this episode of The Solo Grind, I’m sharing a little truth talk about all the times I’ve been told, “You can’t.” From standing up to bullies on a concrete bench as a kid to launching a business people thought I wasn’t “qualified” to run, I’ve heard it all, and guess what? I did it anyway.
These limitations weren’t always meant to hurt. Most of the time, they came from people who loved me, but were stuck in their own fear. Still, I’ve spent a lifetime proving them wrong. Not out of spite, but because I know what I’m capable of (and spoiler alert: success looks real cute on a “can’t”).
So if you’ve ever been underestimated, doubted, or encouraged to play it small... this one’s for you. Let’s talk about quiet confidence, bold moves, and living a life that doesn’t wait for anyone’s permission.
What I hope you take away from today's episode...
- A reminder that someone else’s doubt has nothing to do with your potential.
- Encouragement to stop waiting for permission and start moving toward what you want.
- Proof that success can be quiet, steady,and incredibly satisfying.
- A little boost to trust yourself, even when others don’t get it.
- Permission to be bold, do the thing, and let your results speak louder than any “can’t.”
Links to connect with me...
Book a Consult HERE! (https://caffeinecreative.io/consult/)
Email me HERE! theperfectblendcaffeinecreative.io
Find me on Substack!
Detailed Show Notes
(automatically transcribed using AI Technology)
Hi, welcome to The Solo Grind. I am so excited that you are here. I’m your host, Teresa Schlup, the Original Caffeine Creative, and it’s my day job to help incredible, amazing solo entrepreneurs stand out and get noticed in a busy entrepreneurial world through branding, website design, and digital marketing. I do this by helping people be 100% authentically genuine to who they really are because at the end of the day, that is what attracts people when it comes to hiring businesses, services, and all the rest.
If that sounds like something you’re interested in, I invite you to check out my website at caffeinecreative.io, and scroll down into the show notes if you want to reach out. All of my best contact information is listed there and I would love to have a conversation with you.
But right now we’re here for the podcast, The Solo Grind, my little baby that’s about to wrap up Season Two. This month we’re talking about limitations, specifically the ones people put on us when they just don’t believe we can succeed. Not because they don’t love us or want to believe in us, but because they have a hard time believing in themselves.
That’s what today’s conversation is about. When people tell you that you can’t do something.
Throughout pretty much my entire life, I’ve had people try to hold me back and tell me “you can’t do that” or some variation of those words. And for the most part, those people truly did love me. They genuinely thought they were protecting me from failure or disappointment.
Deep down, I know they wanted to believe in me, but they couldn’t, because they didn’t believe in themselves. It’s hard to believe in someone else when you don’t believe in yourself.
That fear creeps in, and suddenly they start imagining all the worst-case scenarios. They immediately start setting boundaries to “protect” me, and those boundaries become limitations. That’s when the “you can’t do that” starts. It all happens in seconds. It’s ingrained. It’s automatic.
And I know I’m not the only one this happens to.
I actually remember one of the first times I heard “can’t” in a big, limiting way. I was eight years old, and it all started with some basketball bullies.
We were at a basketball banquet. My dad was my coach, and we were bored during the banquet because, let’s face it, how long do you want to sit and listen to parents brag about their kids and hand out awards? So me and my friend Tessa went outside to play on the concrete benches in the courtyard.
A couple of the boys came out too and decided we didn’t belong there. They told us we were dumb girls who couldn’t play basketball. (Okay, that part was kind of true... I was terrible at basketball and didn’t even like it, but they didn’t know that.)
They tried to bully us out of the space. And I stood my ground. Tessa, who was younger, was behind me, and I was trying to protect her too. Tessa is one of the most empowered women I know now, so I’m sure she was right there standing with me.
Well, the ruckus drew attention, and when our moms got outside and realized what was happening, guess what they said?
“You can’t stand up to bullies like that. You should’ve run away.”
Here I was, proud of myself for standing up for us, and suddenly I felt like I’d done something wrong.
But then my dad, my pops, pulled me aside and said, “I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. Don’t let others tell you you can’t.”
That moment has stayed with me for the rest of my life. It was pivotal. It shaped how I show up and paved the path I walk now.
There have been so many other “you can’t do that” moments.
When I joined the Navy.
When I found out I was going to be a single mom. (Not by my husband now. He’s been by my side from day one.)
When I got my first job after the Navy, as a senior secretary at a university. Someone actually told me they thought I was in over my head and shouldn’t take the job.
And of course, when I launched my business. The moment you say, “I’m starting my own business,” the can’ts start flying.
Those can’ts usually aren’t about you. They’re projections of other people’s fear. They don’t believe they could do it, so they can’t imagine that you can either.
So how do you handle that?
You don’t have to be loud. You don’t have to be abrasive. You don’t have to clap back or make some big statement. You don’t even have to address it.
You can just hold your head high and prove them wrong.
You can smile. You can quietly go about your business and start checking off your goals.
One of my favorite lines that keeps me going comes from Pitbull’s song, “Can’t Have.” He says:
“I used to think the sky was the limit
‘Til I figured there were footprints on the moon.”
That is the kind of energy we all need to keep going!
You don’t need to shout to prove anyone wrong. You just need to be your incredible, badass self.
So that’s this week’s message: You CAN. I believe in you.
Whatever goal you’ve got in your heart, I know you can accomplish it. And if you ever need a cheerleader, I’m here. Reach out to me. I’ll be the one in your corner reminding you that you’ve got this.
Thanks for tuning in. I’ll see you next week for another episode on busting through the ceilings and limitations holding us back. Until then, keep being amazing.
