Episode Summary:
I love today’s topic because it’s something I feel so strongly about: you can be driven and ambitious without sacrificing your life to the "hustle."
I see two common ideas of what it means to be successful in business, and honestly, I don't agree with either one of them. Whether it’s the "work yourself weary" hustle culture or the "two-hour workweek on a beach" fantasy, I think most of us actually want something right in the middle.
Today, I’m sharing why I choose "sustainable ambition" over the hustle, and how I’ve built a business that leaves me room for 5Ks, my dogs, and slow dinners with my husband.
What I hope you take away from this episode
- You deserve to get paid: It is not a badge of honor to skip your paycheck month after month. Charge your worth, then add tax, and pay yourself for the job you’re doing.
- The "Beach Dream" is usually a myth: Most of us would be bored silly if we didn't have meaningful work to do. Success isn't about escaping work; it's about doing work you love so much that you’d actually miss it.
- Exhaustion isn't an achievement: Unless it’s a big "season" (like Mother's Day for a florist), being weary all the time is a sign that something needs to change.
- Success is defined by you: For me, success is a 14-hour design day when I choose it, but it’s also a long walk on my five acres or baking cookies on a Tuesday. You get to decide what your "perfect" looks like.
Links to resources I shared in this episode:
- Profit First by Mike Michalowicz – If you aren't paying yourself yet, please go get this book. It will change everything.
- Sustainable Ambition by Kathy Oneto – I’m really leaning into the three pillars she talks about: the right ambition, at the right time, with the right effort.
- Episode 69: 8 tips to ditch the busy work and be productive – If you feel like you’re just staying "busy" to feel productive, this one is for you.
- Reach out and say hi: I’d love to hear what your version of success looks like. Email me at theperfectblend@caffeinecreative.io.
Show Transcripts
I may not be interested in the hustle, but that doesn't mean I'm lazy.
Welcome to The Solo Grind. This is a weekly coffee break with me, a fellow solo small business owner who is right there by your side. Figuratively speaking, of course! I am Teresa Schlup, a brand strategist and a web designer by trade, and here we talk about building a life and business that feels just perfect for you. Because, my friends, there is no one clear path to achieving success. Success is all about living a life that feels perfect for you.
Two common perceptions of business ownership (that I don't agree with)
Today I want to talk about the perception of what it means to be in business. For me, I see two common perceptions of what it means to own your own business, and honestly, I don't agree with either one of them.
The sacrifice of the "hustle mentality"
The first is this hustle mentality where you work and work and then work some more. You give everything that you've got and then you dig deep to give even more, all while sacrificing the things that make life worth living—like time with your family and friends, time spent on vacations where you actually get to relax and recharge, and even just quiet time on your own, enjoying the life that you've created.
Plus, this mentality often has an even uglier side where you work like crazy without paying yourself. I cannot tell you how many entrepreneurs I've met over the years who, years into their business, still are not paying themselves for a job well done. While I understand there are times that it's a sacrifice we make as business owners to skip a paycheck or two, I think it is a travesty that we view not paying ourselves month after month as a badge of honor and something that is considered normal. That's not normal.
While, yes, you go into business because you have a passion and you want the freedom of running your own business, you also deserve to get paid. And as I have said many times before: charge your worth and then add tax. So if you, my friend, are that person who is still not paying yourself, my suggestion is to invest in the Profit First book and stop buying into that nonsense, because that is not what success looks like.
Chasing the "two-hour work week" on a beach
Back to this "work yourself weary" mentality of the hustle culture: this is the perception that I see people living as they strive for the other perception, which I'm going to share here in just a moment. It's this idea of thinking that you have to hustle and always be going, going, going in order to build a successful business.
And this is what we do as we chase the other perception, which is that one magical day we're going to wake up and discover that all of our dreams come true. We think we can now live in the dream world where we work two hours a week while lounging on the beach and running off to play with our kids in the waves while passive income rolls in to pay for this carefree, play-in-the-sun lifestyle.
What I really dislike about this particular perception is that it is selling a dream we think we should want to have, when the reality is that most of us would be bored silly within a week if all we had to do was lay around on the beach and play in the sun all day, every day.
Why success lives comfortably in the middle
I personally believe that success lives comfortably in the middle of these two perceptions. Most of us enjoy the work we do. We have to, because running our own business is a lot of work, and it takes a lot of guts and a lot of courage. Why would you do that if you didn't love what you're doing? It is a lot easier to just earn a paycheck and let other people deal with the day-to-day of running a business than it is to actually run a business.
Because we enjoy the work that we do, we actually enjoy spending time doing it. I know for me personally, building this web design brand business is one of the greatest joys of my life. I love it when I have a new website to design or when I get to sit down with a long-term client who is creating something new and amazing that I get to support. I love it when I have a design day booked on my calendar and I get to put on my work pajamas and curl up with some coffee and create something incredible. Or when a new consultation pops into my inbox, I'm excited to meet this new person that is looking for something that hopefully I can help them with.
These are the moments I would miss
These are the moments that I look forward to each and every week. These are the moments that I would miss if I was just laying around on the beach every day working two hours a week.
On the flip side, I love putting in a solid day. I love working on my business and building something very real here at The Caffeine Creative, but I also enjoy my downtime. I love finishing up my day with time leftover to go out in the yard and play with my dogs or tinker around with my flowers. I love walking our acreage and seeing what new things have popped up on these five acres of land that we live on.
I love that I have time to hop on my treadmill and pop out a 5K before making dinner for Todd and I. I love that I have time to make dinner most nights from scratch and then sit down at the table with my husband and enjoy that meal together. This, to me, is what success looks like. While I love a good long walk on the beach and time to play, I love the work that I do just as much, if not even more. I wouldn't give up the work that I do for an idea that I'm told I should strive for.
5 questions to ask if you're stuck in the "hustle culture" mindset
I do realize there are times we have to put in long hours, times when hustle is necessary to accomplish the goal that we're working towards. Just a few months ago, I had a big project coming up and ran into some issues and I had to put in a couple of 12 or 14-hour days. That was okay because I chose to do that. But it's also really easy to get stuck in this mindset. When we're stuck in that hustle culture mindset, striving for the day when we can just work two hours a week, I think we're hurting our business more than we actually realize.
So here's a couple questions that I thought I would share with you to help you determine if you are stuck in this hustle mindset. I will have them in my show notes so that you can reference them whenever you need them.
Question 1: Are you doing things just because you think you "should"?
This is an easy one to get caught up in. Just recently in my own brand audit, I realized that there's a pretty big thing that I am doing because I feel like I should continue doing it. In reality, it's not supporting the ultimate goal of my business. It's actually something I love doing, but it's not supporting my ultimate business goals and it's creating more work than I need. Ask yourself: why should you? If I really wanted to, would I continue doing this? Does this support my ultimate goal? If it doesn't, it might be time to let it go.
Question 2: Are you tying your worth to the output of time spent on your business?
I think every entrepreneur in the world has done this. Here's what I've seen it look like most commonly: spending hours and hours creating Canva posts for Instagram, or rewriting our "about" page for the hundredth time, or redesigning our logo again and again. Anything that we can do that shows we've been busy working, even though it does little to nothing to move the needle forward or fill our pipelines.
This is something I talked about in depth in episode 69 8 Tips to Ditch the Busy Work & Be Productive
Question 3: Do you believe that exhaustion is a sign of accomplishment?
Sometimes that is true. A few months ago when I had to put in those 12 or 14-hour days, I was completely exhausted and I kicked butt in those few days. Another example is my best friend Crystal, who lives in Denton, Texas. Her and her hubby bought a flower shop last year and she just wrapped up Mother's Day. At the end of that week, she was completely exhausted, but also feeling quite successful. But that is not her every week. That is not her every day. She is in the hustle and the moving when it comes to those big moments, but then she steps back and intentionally takes time to relax, recharge, and rejuvenate.
Question 4: Do you feel guilty when you stop and rest?
If you were able to take a day off next week from your business and just do something fun for you, would you actually be able to lean in and enjoy it? Or would you sabotage that time off with worry, stress, and guilt?
Way back in 2020, I thought that I was accomplishing something because I worked a lot and I rarely took time off. When I did take time off, I felt guilty. When I had to face a very serious diagnosis of breast cancer, I felt guilty for having to take time off from my business to get treatment and to rest. I planned my treatments so that my weekends would be rest so that I could keep working straight through my weeks. And this was not good, my friends. That treatment kicked my butt as much as the disease did.
But I learned through that experience that when we stop and rest, we honestly can accomplish a lot more. Not only did I deal with that struggle that year, it also was an incredibly profitable year for me. My business actually grew 200% profit-wise in that one year as I was dealing with a very serious disease and an aggressive treatment program. All while working less, doing less, and only putting in three and a half days a week because that's all my body could handle.
Question 5: Does building your business consume your whole identity?
I remember doing this myself once upon a time. It didn't matter what topic anyone brought up, I was able to turn that around to the business I was building. While it did show the passion that I have, it was also incredibly tedious of me because I was not giving time and love and attention to the things and people that matter to me. Ask yourself: is it necessary? Is it worth it? And what are you losing in the process?
I think sometimes as entrepreneurs, we become addicted to this feeling of urgency. The sense of urgency makes us feel productive, even when we actually aren't doing anything that builds our business. It's the sense of urgency that ultimately is the gas that ignites the burnout.
What "Sustainable Ambition" looks like for me
I want to close out today's episode by taking a look at the idea of sustainable ambition. This is a phrase I had never heard before, in all honesty, before planning this episode. But there is actually a book by Kathy Oneto all about this idea called Sustainable Ambition: How to Prioritize What Matters to Thrive in Life and Work. I'll include a link to that book as well as her website, sustainableambition.com, in the show notes.
I will say this: I personally have not read the book, but I see that the idea of sustainable ambition is built on three solid pillars—the right ambition, the right time, with the right effort. For now, I want to close by just sharing what sustainable ambition looks like for me.
Leaning into the natural rhythms in my day
Sustainable ambition for me is creating rhythms in my day rather than reacting to chaos. Like spending intentional time in the morning focusing on me and my self-care, ensuring my meals are ready for the day, my dogs are well taken care of, and my house is picked up so that I don't feel the chaos of the clutter around me. And then putting in a good solid work day focusing on the tasks that are important, not busy work, but things that actually move the needle forward, like client work or my own personal marketing or connecting with new people.
It also means after that solid work day is done, closing it out and having time to play with my dogs, walk my acreage, or get in a workout. I don't keep pushing to do "one more thing" once I've reached the end of my to-do list, because that is what builds chaos in my life. I also believe sustainable ambition is protecting my energy and embracing my work time as well as my downtime.
Finally, sustainable ambition for me is choosing to work because I actually love what I do. My job feeds my creative brain and my analytical brain. It gives me a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day and makes me feel good about the life that I'm able to live because of the work that I do.
I want to leave you with this one final thought for today…
My friends, I have learned to enjoy my life so much more once I let myself recover from the extreme perceptions of what I thought success had to look like for me. I love that I have meaningful work and that at the end of the day, I can see that I am living a good life. This, in my opinion, is my absolute most successful accomplishment to date. And I hope that one day you can see it too.
Thanks so much for being here with me today. If you want to continue the conversation, please feel free to reach out to me at theperfectblend@caffeinecreative.io. I read every single email myself and respond personally. Thanks for tuning into The Solo Grind. If this episode resonated with you, I would be so ever grateful if you would take a moment to rate, review, and subscribe. After all, we may be building our business solo, but that doesn't mean we have to do it alone.
