Episode Summary:
In this episode of The Solo Grind, we’re diving deep into the concept of success. What does success look like for you? How has your definition of success evolved over time? And more importantly, are you chasing success based on what you truly desire, or are you following external pressures and expectations?
I share my personal journey of hustling hard, burning out, and realizing that success wasn’t about having 10,000 followers or working 24/7. It took an unexpected diagnosis and a complete shift in my life to redefine what success meant to me—and I hope my story helps you rethink your own definition. Tune in as we explore how you can break free from the grind, redefine success, and start living the life you’ve been striving for.
Links to connect with me...
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Detailed Show Notes
(automatically transcribed using AI Technology)
Hello, my friends! Welcome back to The Solo Grind. It’s so wonderful to connect with you again. And if this is your first time tuning in, a big welcome to you—I’m so glad you’re here!
Before we jump into today’s episode, I thought I’d take a moment to share a bit more about myself. If there’s one thing you should know about me, it’s that I love creating life on my own terms. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been told, “You can’t do that,” and just as many times, I’ve proven that yes, I can. I’m all about challenging the status quo and seeing the world from a fresh new perspective.
I’m also the founder and owner of The Caffeine Creative, a marketing firm that helps confident female service-based entrepreneurs stand out, not blend in. We offer brand strategy, website design, and digital marketing services tailored to those who want to make their mark.
One of the best ways to stand out is to define what success looks like for you. And that’s exactly what we’re diving into today—how we define success, how that definition evolves, and how to break free from the grind that so often leaves us feeling drained instead of fulfilled.
Breaking Up With the Entrepreneurial Grind:
To kick things off, I want to share something personal with you—a journey I’ve been on that I like to call Breaking Up With the Entrepreneurial Grind, or maybe I should call it, Confessions of a Recovering Workaholic.
When I first started my business, I was hustling hard to grow big and grow quickly. I worked nights, early mornings, weekends, holidays—you name it, I was doing it. I gave everything I had and then dug deep to find even more to give, all in the name of building a following for my business.
At first, it seemed like it was working. People were connecting, following, and engaging with my content. But that wasn’t real growth. Despite the growth of my following, I wasn’t attracting my dream clients. I wasn’t growing my business, and I wasn't making money. Most importantly I wasn’t clear on what success actually meant to me.
I had this belief that I had to
- Have 10s of 1000s of followers
- Show that I was exploring the world and connecting with others in exotic places all in the name of business
- I believed I had to build a huge team and agency - because going it alone wasn’t success - side note that is sooooo far from the truth!
- I was working to achieve some outrageous financial goal and initial I was putting every $ I made back into the business
Despite all my hard work, as I said above, I wasn’t growing as a business, and I wasn’t profitable. Plus I didn’t have boundaries to protect my time or myself. I was burnt out, sacrificing my health, happiness, fun, and even time with my family.
And let’s be honest—when we start sacrificing the things that make life worth living, is that really success? I had built a great following, but I didn’t have the energy or clarity to convert those followers into paying clients.
I fell into the trap of believing that I had to be available everywhere, all the time, focusing on “obligations” that did little to fill my pipeline or boost my profits. And here’s the kicker—I didn’t even see a problem with my thinking! In fact, I truly believed that if I just did more, I might someday in the far off future be successful.
The Turning Point:
So, with 2019 coming to a close, I was focused on doing the more I felt was necessary and set some pretty ambitious goals—building a massive audience, creating a huge email list, writing a book, developing a course, creating my own line of productivity planners, and even planning a podcast. All of these were to be completed and launched by the end of the first quarter in the new year.
But deep down, I was still full of doubts. Did you catch that earlier when I said I hoped these things might make me successful? That’s right, I didn’t believe they absolutely would. I only hoped they might.
And that’s the thing with chasing external measures of success—it’s a never-ending cycle. Even if I had achieved all those goals, it wouldn’t have been enough. I would have kept checking boxes, setting new goals, and exhausting myself in the process, all the while waiting for that one “magical” day when I’d reach success and then I could finally slow down and enjoy life. You know, the life with a fulfilling job, dream clients, the ability to work from anywhere, and the freedom to enjoy evenings and weekends with family and friends.
And then, on November 16, 2019, everything changed. I was diagnosed with breast cancer. And this wasn’t the “whew, we found it early and treatment will be easy” kind of diagnosis. No, it was an aggressive, fast-growing, rare form of breast cancer, and I had to take some BIG steps right away.
And sadly, that wasn’t the only giant curveball life threw at me during that time in my life, and it wasn’t even the worst one. I might share more about that story another time, but today I want to focus on how this diagnosis it led me to redefine success.
Redefining Success:
With my world turned upside down, I realized I couldn’t do everything I had planned. My energy had to go toward healing and taking care of my paying clients. That was about all I knew for sure I could focus on.
So I set aside all of my lofty goals - the book - the course - the planners - the podcast - and focused my attention on my health and my clients. I admit starting off 2020 I felt a bit like a failure. While so many others I followed online were creating new things in their business and reaching for new levels of success, I was stalled in simply maintaining what I had, and it didn’t feel good.
But as time went on as I was forced to slow down I made some pretty amazing discoveries…
- I didn’t need 10,000 followers to attract the clients I wanted.
- I wasn’t passionate about writing a book or developing a line of productivity planners
- and the course I was creating wasn’t the right fit for my audience.
And you know what? The most surprising discovery was that I was already living the life I had dreamed about. I had a fulfilling, creative job, amazing clients, and the freedom to work from a lovely home office—or anywhere with an internet connection. And as I had been forced to slow down to focus on healing, I discovered I already had the time to enjoy being with family and friends - I just had to allow it to happen.
That’s when I began to realize what my real definition of success was.
Reflections on the True Meaning of Success:
For me, success isn’t about checking off every goal on a list. It’s not about accomplishing things I feel I should do or things I’m obligated to do. Success, for me, is about the joy I feel when I see my clients’ confidence soar with their new brand or website. It’s living a life that’s simpler and quieter than the one I once envisioned. It’s loving the home I’ve created with my hubby—a home I don’t need an escape from. It’s about feeling at peace in my own skin and appreciating the life I’ve created, not just the material achievements.
And here’s the truth: I had all of these things before my diagnosis, but I had forgotten what might be the most important step in being successful—I had forgotten to claim the success I had already achieved.
Success Is Only Real When You Claim It:
If you don’t stop to recognize all you’ve built, how will you ever know you’re already successful? That was the lesson I learned the hard way. Back in 2019, I didn’t realize it, but today, I do. And believe it or not, my life, business, and finances have expanded in the most amazing ways since then. I am now living beyond the dream I once had for myself.
Expanding the Conversation:
Now, I want to take a moment to dive deeper into the idea of redefining success. How often do we let external pressures, societal expectations, or even our own self-imposed standards shape our definition of success? And what happens when those definitions don’t align with our true desires?
For example, think about the goals you’re currently pursuing. Are they truly aligned with what you want, or are they influenced by what you think you should be doing? If no one was watching, how would you live your life and define your success?
I invite you to take a moment to reflect on these questions. Because, at the end of the day, success isn’t just about what you achieve—it’s about how you feel when you achieve it.
Actionable Takeaways:
So, what can you do today to start redefining your success? Here are a few actionable steps:
- Reflect on your current definition of success: Take some quiet time to journal or meditate on what success truly means to you. How has it evolved, and where is there room for change?
- Identify misaligned goals: Look at the goals you’re currently chasing. Are they aligned with your true desires, or are they driven by external pressures?
- Set boundaries: Protect your time, energy, and well-being. Success doesn’t require burnout—it requires balance.
- Celebrate your current achievements: Don’t wait for some future milestone to feel successful. Recognize and celebrate what you’ve already accomplished.
- Claim your success: Remember, success is only real when you claim it. Take stock of all you’ve built, and give yourself the credit you deserve.
As we wrap up today...
I encourage you to take these reflections and questions with you. Success is personal, and it’s something only you can define for yourself. So, pause, take stock of all you’ve created, and ask yourself: Are you already living the success you’ve been striving for?
Thank you for joining me today on The Solo Grind. I hope this episode has sparked some thoughts, inspired you to reflect, and maybe even encouraged you to redefine what success means to you. Don’t forget to pause, reflect, and claim the success you’ve already achieved.
